“Maybe it’s a man’s world, but girls make it go ’round
But I wouldn’t give a nickel for my peace of ground if it
Weren’t for my lady standing on it, sweet and proud
Come on, lady, love me now”

“Do You Right Tonight – Eddie Rabbit”

The previous one was a catharsis. I knew that, and so does everyone else. That story ended with the conclusion of the story of Emily and Cecilia. But people usually forget how stories supposed to end. I mean a story starts with a few characters. They have their arcs. But usually people stop thinking about the story, once the arc of the protagonist, (or someone important) ends with the story, people assume the story has ended…

But, there’s always more to it, than meets the eye…

Love is not a complicated thing, rather it’s a complicated ingredient of life. You add it to life; complications are on the way. So, if you want a simple and uncomplicated life, you should never have any provision of love, and that means being alone… Forever…

I’ve always thought people ought to enjoy all the emotions of life… love, hate, pain, joy…

And all these emotions are expected out of relationships…

“Tears and fears and feeling proud,
To say “I love you” right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way”

Mind you, I’m using the broader meaning of the word ‘relationship’ here. Because you do have a relationship with your parents, too. And every relationship needs involvement and work. But I believe the more involvement is needed in the relationships that you choose; Friends… Girlfriend… Boyfriend… Wife… Husband…

After I Broke Up with Emily… I had a falling out with my parents…

“I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all”

The day I put my hands on my father, I realized how far I’ve fallen… Maybe it was a long relationship that ultimately failed; but that can’t justify my actions… never…

For a long time, I was in a pathetic state of self-pity… Unable to look at a girl without thinking about my carnal desires.

It’s a lot to take in for the readers, but every boy goes through such a sorry state, whether they like or confess about it or not.

I was going down a slippery slope… I kept nagging Emily with ridiculous and misogynistic demands like “You Owe Me Sex…” and kept asking my college friends out for dates. Thank god it’s gone and I can write blogs about it; else I would have become a full-time misogynist, without a speck of respect for women.

In short, it was dark times and I was a complete mess. It was because my sister and a few friends for whom I was able to pull myself together. When my mental state became somewhat stable, life felt like a Joni Mitchel song…

“I am on a lonely road and
I am traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling
Looking for something, what can it be ?”

In the meantime, I made two indie films. Fell for a co-worker and found out I can fall even low and can be devoid of self -respect entirely. I let her friendzone me and rob me. Yes not metaphorically, but literally. And thank god I came out of that Toxic situation in time.

Yeah… that happened too… Go on, call me whatever you want, I deserve it.

When Baroda O Bohurupi released, I met some new people, whom I thought I could be friends with. I was openly single; still felt I need a relationship and I was clearly advertising it. So, one of these new friends once mentioned about a friend of hers. Let’s call her Jenny as in Cotton Jenny by Gordon Lightfoot.

“There’s a house on a hill
By a worn down weathered old mill
In the valley below where the river winds
There’s no such thing as bad times
And a soft southern flame
Oh Cotton Jenny’s her name…”

So she was a complication, an potential cause of heartache, source of problems… That’s what I thought. Maybe she is a singer, but with orthodox parents, it’s never good, never easy. And that’s an unnecessary complication I don’t need in my life.

I said no thank you and never even wanted to meet. I don’t want to spend my entire life fixing broken things. I said, to myself; never realizing in course of the last year I have become a broken thing that deliberately needed fixing.

But one thing out of this entire conversation got etched into my mind. She’s a singer… and an excellent one at that.

But, I ignored and shoved it away from my mind.

Now, see… Maybe I was not the horny toad I was before; but I was looking, meeting and going after girls like a normal single person would. You want to judge me for that, go on…

And like all other guys, I was going after girls wayyy out of my league, and failing miserably.

Then came Kolkata International Book Fair 2017. And I met Jenny in that Nerd-heaven.

Nothing happened… No butterfly in my stomach, no ‘sparks’… and that’s how it’s supposed to be… I don’t believe in love at first sight.

But a week later, we started talking… About music !!!

For a month, we spoke on Chat…

And on a dark, sleepless February Night; I said…

-“I Love You…”

When I got off my phone, I realized, all those problems and complications I thought to avoid before, just came into my life by my own invitation.

And it did. Within a few week, that friend who introduced me to Jenny, became hell bent on destroying our relationship. It won’t be an exaggeration to say, she went above and beyond.

And, then I realized, Love doesn’t happen per your convenience or terms. It just happens. And when you’re bringing a new person in your life, there will always be complications. And working through those complications is what Love or Relationship is. You’re deciding to relate with someone with whom you have no blood relation, and you expect there will be no consequences ?

It is called being Naïve…

There will always be complications and problems and anger and tears and sleepless nights. But at the end of that, you’ll be smiling holding hands…

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup
Drink it up
Love her and she’ll bring you luck
And if you find she helps your mind
Buddy, take her home
Yeah, don’t you live alone
Try to earn what lovers own

So, here I am again… Hopelessly in Love… and Ready to work for it… and I’ve been working for it for the last two and half years. Am I Always happy ? No… But nothing can beat the peace she brings when we are together, laughing and smiling and listening to Country Music together.

Peace…

Neel

P.S. – Sequel ? Not Really… But Conclusion Nonetheless… This one has a different tone than the first one, because that one ended with heartbreak, and this one ended with a very cliched “Happily Ever After Moment…” but this is me, Coming Clean.

This is Jenny’s Blog, It was always her idea. In a way, Libberish is our Love-Child.

FYI, I shamelessly went after two of my Friends in College, and they very politely rejected my perverse offer explaining how important our friendship was. I apologized to them in time, and they forgave me. I hope that ‘me’ never sees the light of day again; I HATE him. I thank them again, for their support, when any sane girl could’ve blocked me and called it a day, they used compassion and empathized with me. I’m forever in your debt.

And to Emily; have a great married life. May your daughter bring loads of Joy and Togetherness in your life…

And to Jenny : I wanted to put a Photo of Us, Smiling… But then I thought; you’re cotton Jenny; not someone identifiable. Just be my Sweet Southern Flame forever. I love you sooo very much…  

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One Comment on “Country Music and A Broken Heart – II

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