“A time to be reaping, A time to be sowing
The green leaves of summer Are calling me home”
-The Brothers Four
As I opened my eyes, I saw stars everywhere. I remembered falling asleep under the open sky in the afternoon. And now it’s evening. The dark sky was shimmering in the starlight.
-“Are you sick, mister?”
A young girl was standing beside me.
-“No, I just want to be left alone…”
I answered. The girl left; I hope I wasn’t too rude to her. Actually, it’s not very normal. A full-grown man just came and lied down in the green grass of the children’s playground. Kids are curious.
I don’t know what fell upon me. I was tired, walking aimlessly beside the playground, and suddenly I felt an undeniable urge to just lie down on the grass; and I did just that. The grass was very well maintained. But it was also sharp. Felt good on my back, although hands felt a bit stingy. But I didn’t get up. That uneasiness, such is life. When you feel, you need to do something in your life, you must do something. And, once you’ve done it, you will feel good for most of the part. But there will be complaints, there will be problems, one way or another.
There’s a common saying ‘The Biggest Mistake of My Life’ or ‘The Only Thing I Regret’… I feel there is no such thing! In the heart of regret lies some achievement. And in every big success, there is a tiny, infinitesimally small piece of failure, regret. But I think, it’s better to have a bigger victory than a bigger regret.
Anyway… my hands were getting used to the irritation caused by the grass. Now I started thinking about questions of most rhetorical varieties, the questions, no one can answer, no one can ever comprehend.
Am I doing the right thing? With my life? With people near me, close to me? Am I doing justice?
…like I said, nobody could answer these questions. There are no answers, only perspective and mindset. The answer of same question could, and will be different in a same day, depending on your situation, your perspective. Funny thing is, both the answer could be right or wrong, at the same time. The only thing that matters is how are you feeling, inside, at the core while doing what you’re doing. It’s not what you show all people. It’s what’s keeps you going, keeps you alive. It may be frustrating, tiresome, even painful at times, but beneath that cover, there is a feeling, that is beyond any human comprehension… and that’s bliss, that’s purity, and that’s humanity itself.
I know… I’m thinking too much. I should probably close my eyes and try to calm my mind. Put this budding philosopher to sleep and hope he doesn’t wake up for a few days now.
Now, I’m awake. Looking up to the sky and hoping not to be disturbed. Suddenly a cold wind swept in. rushing through the tree leaves, making a husky rattling sound. And then I felt the rain. One or two drops, falling. Not rain actually. A pre-drizzle. It felt good. I was expecting the water droplets to grow bigger, and I will run home only when the rain seriously threatens my existence. Well, I know the rains can’t wash me away, but realistically, I have one or two electronic items with me. So, I can’t just get drenched in the rain. There are limitations. But, I can feel those drops, again. Getting bigger, winds are making more rattling sound. Any moment now…
But, before the rain, came my mom. She insisted (pretty much ordered) me to go home quickly, freshen up, and lie down on a bed, for god’s sake! So, this little hide-and-go-seek with the rain stopped there. I went home. With some regret, but those stillborn raindrops on my cheek felt nothing but accomplishment…
The First Quote is Taken from “The Green Leaves of Summer” by The Brothers Four
A Beautiful Song. If you’re interested, the YouTube link is given below